Why can't I reach the Lord?

D

Desperate62

Member
Hi, everyone, I hope someone here can help me, and point me in the right direction. I'm a single bloke in my early 60's and I have a long and complex history of absolutely brutal torturing disabilities which are never recognised as such, but instead only ever get treated with appalling contempt and I hope it won't be the same here. They make me severely incompatible with people because their laughter and exuberance causes me brutal violent assault, and I'm trapped in a body that runs FAR too insanely HOT and it makes me overheat and sweat to insane proportions even in the freezing UK winter, and summer is appalling. And I also have learning disability which makes a whole range of grown up stuff far too overwhelming, including reading the Lord's word. And all this stuff keeps me out of church, or anywhere remotely "social", and since I was born I've had a wretched life ruining demonic curse forced on me which only aggravates all these appalling problems so I have absolutely no remotely normal life, just total isolation, nothing I can enjoy and I've absolutely nothing to laugh about, and of course I live alone and have done for nearly 40 years, and in 1987 I tried committing my life to the Lord up above in desperation as it's says in the Gospel of John that we "Must be born again", i.e., not just religious, and at the time I was told by an Evangelist that things would change and that I would find the Bible far more exciting etc. Well it never happened and now 38 years on still never has, and now this year, 2025, I've got yet another appalling problem where I've got loads of tiny wretched warts spreading across my hands causing all manner of appalling complications as those wretched things are contagious and vile, and I can't stop touching things and I can't wear gloves all the time either, and they're caused by a virus which has no cure, and it's driving me absolutely paranoid with worries about it, so I desperately need God's help but I just can't reach him, it's just as if I never even bothered trying to commit my life to the Lord at all, I've never had the great powerful life changing spiritual experience that countless millions of other Christians have and relentlessly brag about, and why not?! Where is my share? We're all supposed to have faith, without which we cannot please God, Hebrews 11, verse 6, but how can you have faith without the means to do so? I can't just produce it out of thin air, surely it's only possible with a fully active share of the Holy Spirit who is the power source who makes Christianity work, but it looks like I've only got a very minimal share of the Spirit, as sometimes I get full of tears when listening to some Christian music or sometimes when watching some of the preaching on the Sonlife TV channel, and I sometimes get friendly greetings from little toddlers, as there was a time, until July 1997 when just about any noise made by little ones was absolute torture too, so I couldn't stand little kids either but then I somehow got healed from that and shortly after I started getting loads of friendly greetings from little ones all over, so I must have something special inside, but nothing remotely like what other Christians have, and now I desperately need the Lord's help but I just can't reach him and why not? And I have had a water baptism too back in 1997. So what can I do? even if I decided to try and somehow defy all the excruciating noise and loose, slack casual liberal behaviour in the church, how can I go to any such place now with my hands so contaminated? I just couldn't protect myself enough and I don't want anyone else catching what I've got, especially not precious little kids. And I desperately need the Lord's help as only he can cure such a virus, but what am I to do? I cry out to him day and night but get no response, even though I praise his name. It seems to me that whatever the problem, no matter how severely incompatible you are, you still have to somehow go to church or else you get nowhere with God, but what on earth am I supposed to do?!
 
Desperate62 said:
what on earth am I supposed to do?!
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Well; if you haven't already, I highly recommend beginning with Rom 12:12b which
says:

"Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful."

Troubles are often made bearable by a confidant; someone with whom we can
safely share every aspect of our emotional distress.

God is of course the first choice for that purpose because He not only has a
sympathetic ear but is also able to sufficiently strengthen His own during their
troubles to prevent them from jumping off a bridge or drowning themselves in the
bathtub.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,
Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have
a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one
who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us
then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Heb 4:14-16)

The Greek word translated "confidence" basically means all out-spokenness, i.e.
frank, blunt, and/or candid. In other words: in our hour of desperation, we should
not address God with a rote prayer, instead; we ought to speak from our heart. I
mean, after all; we're not dealing with a totem pole, rather, we're dealing with a
rational, sensible being whose IQ exceeds us all.

What I'm saying is: get a rapport going with God and tell him, out loud or under
your breath, all the things you told the forum. I can't guarantee that you'll feel any
better but at least you'll be sharing your problems with someone who can actually
make a difference.

Buen Camino (Pleasant Journey)
_
 
Desperate62 said:
Hi, everyone, I hope someone here can help me, and point me in the right direction. I'm a single bloke in my early 60's and I have a long and complex history of absolutely brutal torturing disabilities which are never recognised as such, but instead only ever get treated with appalling contempt and I hope it won't be the same here. They make me severely incompatible with people because their laughter and exuberance causes me brutal violent assault, and I'm trapped in a body that runs FAR too insanely HOT and it makes me overheat and sweat to insane proportions even in the freezing UK winter, and summer is appalling. And I also have learning disability which makes a whole range of grown up stuff far too overwhelming, including reading the Lord's word. And all this stuff keeps me out of church, or anywhere remotely "social", and since I was born I've had a wretched life ruining demonic curse forced on me which only aggravates all these appalling problems so I have absolutely no remotely normal life, just total isolation, nothing I can enjoy and I've absolutely nothing to laugh about, and of course I live alone and have done for nearly 40 years, and in 1987 I tried committing my life to the Lord up above in desperation as it's says in the Gospel of John that we "Must be born again", i.e., not just religious, and at the time I was told by an Evangelist that things would change and that I would find the Bible far more exciting etc. Well it never happened and now 38 years on still never has, and now this year, 2025, I've got yet another appalling problem where I've got loads of tiny wretched warts spreading across my hands causing all manner of appalling complications as those wretched things are contagious and vile, and I can't stop touching things and I can't wear gloves all the time either, and they're caused by a virus which has no cure, and it's driving me absolutely paranoid with worries about it, so I desperately need God's help but I just can't reach him, it's just as if I never even bothered trying to commit my life to the Lord at all, I've never had the great powerful life changing spiritual experience that countless millions of other Christians have and relentlessly brag about, and why not?! Where is my share? We're all supposed to have faith, without which we cannot please God, Hebrews 11, verse 6, but how can you have faith without the means to do so? I can't just produce it out of thin air, surely it's only possible with a fully active share of the Holy Spirit who is the power source who makes Christianity work, but it looks like I've only got a very minimal share of the Spirit, as sometimes I get full of tears when listening to some Christian music or sometimes when watching some of the preaching on the Sonlife TV channel, and I sometimes get friendly greetings from little toddlers, as there was a time, until July 1997 when just about any noise made by little ones was absolute torture too, so I couldn't stand little kids either but then I somehow got healed from that and shortly after I started getting loads of friendly greetings from little ones all over, so I must have something special inside, but nothing remotely like what other Christians have, and now I desperately need the Lord's help but I just can't reach him and why not? And I have had a water baptism too back in 1997. So what can I do? even if I decided to try and somehow defy all the excruciating noise and loose, slack casual liberal behaviour in the church, how can I go to any such place now with my hands so contaminated? I just couldn't protect myself enough and I don't want anyone else catching what I've got, especially not precious little kids. And I desperately need the Lord's help as only he can cure such a virus, but what am I to do? I cry out to him day and night but get no response, even though I praise his name. It seems to me that whatever the problem, no matter how severely incompatible you are, you still have to somehow go to church or else you get nowhere with God, but what on earth am I supposed to do?!
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Hello. Just enquiring since it's been a little while, did you managed to reach out to God? I have a few ideas for you if not, though I kind of hope that you have and that my fellowship will be unnecessary for you. Remember your body is the Temple of the Lord's spirit, not the Church. The Church is our place for receiving fellowship and worshipping together but not the place where the spirit of God chooses to dwell. And that's really the reason I wanted to check back with you. God bless you, have a great evening <3 DC
 
Hi, it's good to see someone taking an interest in my situation, but nothing has changed, it's still the same, how can I even reach my maker when I just don't have what other Christians have, an open channel to the Lord, and a fully adequate share of the Holy Spirit, but instead forcibly infected with a hideously evil demonic spirit which relentlessly and systematically destroys my life and won't get off my back and leave me alone, even my efforts to try and type this post is being absolutely ripped apart and it's absolutely hounding me out of my skull and keeping me in constant rage as my typing is being absolutely constantly ripped apart and once even wiped completely! And it's taking hours just to type a mere few words because of all the appalling ludicrous and insane disruption. And I know some Christians won't be told that believers can be possessed, and/or there's "no such thing" as a generational curse etc. when of course there is and I should know with all my appalling life long experience. Why should I have to struggle like h-ll and have to retype each and every line?! And no matter how much I cry out to the Lord it all remains the same, I can't even reach Him, as there's no special relationship like other Christians have, so why am I always forcibly made such an exception? Why didn't I receive my share? even though I've made the same commitment as countless millions of others? even after more than 38 YEARS?! And I DESPERATELY NEED help far more than most here in the UK. And I've tried writing to various Christian groups and churches here in my region but no-one replies, it seems there's just too much condescension, and you can't be Christian all alone and so totally forcibly isolated, you need support, and this forum is so dead most of the time despite it supposedly having over 400 members, and I can't find any others better here in the UK unlike a really good one I was on years ago but it closed down and now there's nothing like the same. And we're all supposed to know for sure that we're saved but I've never had such assurance and why not? There's far too many questions and never any satisfactory answers and it has me far too worried. But I do know for absolute 100% certain that there absolutely IS an all powerful God up above, and that He CAN heal the otherwise incurable, but what if He just won't and just totally ignores you? It seems to me that there's far too much demanding criteria that I just can't meet, and then there's the issue of faith, how can you have such an essential ability when the means of having it is so ruthlessly withheld? It's alright for all those who so automatically get everything they need right from day one, as soon as they commit themselves, but I didn't so what on earth am I supposed to do? Over and over again as I try and watch Christian TV I find myself desperately crying out where's my share?!
 
First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this - suffering is a terrible thing; worsened when we don't understand why this is happening and we feel we deserve better. Then it can feel like a betrayal when we pray for solace and healing but it mercy seemingly isn't as quick as justice when we do things wrong. I totally get that, and I can relate. I won't bore you but I had a very bad health situation when I was new to Christianity (I was previously an Atheist for 22 years). I almost died, and had given up hope for survival, and I just remember wanting my pain to end. Now looking back, I am glad that I did survive - because I found ways to better my life, and have recovered mostly from the injuries I suffered. But I don't want to talk about my health, I can see that you are in great need of guidance and practical help too. I can give you my guidance and take you through how to best approach Jesus for the rest - and put my faith in Him to go ahead and do that for you. If it helps, he has never once let me down, and I have prayed for all sorts of seemingly absurd things. Every one was answered, even if they were not immediately apparent.

So let's go through your comment and see what we can do.

A) You said you don't feel like you have an open channel to the Lord, and I would say - this is a signal that you have just missed something, or that you can just add something to your practice and get that immediate link. Jesus Christ is with you always, there is never a point at which you cannot access Him through your prayers, and never a point where He is unable to answer the service of your prayers. Honestly, this is probably the most joyful thing about being a Christian and having God's power "on tap" whenever you pray. If you know how to approach Him, then He is basically never away from your side! He can give you power to cast out whatever evil forces are affecting you, if you have faith enough to offer prayers and fast. Those are the two practical methods the Bible teaches us (and I can testify that they do work for that particular thing).

First thing I would suggest then; is to prepare yourself for a committed sincere, focused approach to Jesus in prayer. And how you can do this, is first by cleansing yourself - both physically and emotionally, and clearing a space each day where you just devote your time to your approach to God. I can help you by providing examples of how I do this myself (which I do virtually every day); and this is all based from Bible teachings. The second thing is, to prepare your living space or the area you will use for prayer. Don't just pray in silence whilst you are watching the telly with your phone bleeping away with notifications. God will give you his full attention if you do the same for Him when you pray. Today before I went to Church, I woke up early - fasted from the minute I was awake at 6am until about 2pm, so no food at all only water. I had a bath with just clean water no products or soaps or anything fancy, I dressed myself in nice clean ironed clothes. I prayed for inspiration on which Bible verses to read, and then read those before I left for Church. Coincidentally, the passages I was reading (Mark 5-15) was actually in the Sermon lol so that was a cool little wink from Jesus to me. If you get into the habit of purifying yourself and you're entire prayer ritual, then over time you will get better and better results. Goes without saying, fasting includes no smoking, vapes, alcohol, complaining or spiteful thoughts. Your approach to God is totally spiritual, so all these things stain your spirit and God sees those things. Make time for Him and show him humility, and He will give you your share and then some more.

B) You said you hear from other Christians and the things they say just frustrate you, and do not help - You're correct so many people stumble when it comes to practicing what they preach; as being a righteous Christian is virtually impossible if you expect perfection in yourself or anybody else. None of us will never manage to be 100% perfect in our attempts for righteous living, and that is precisely why Jesus came down to offer Himself as a sacrifice to atone for our flaws and sins. I would also suggest then; that if the people you are speaking to are not encouraging you in the right way then swap them out for others, or even worse - demonstrating poor behaviour which is motivating that same thing in you (making you feel angry or resentful). Honestly, life can be lonely when you have very few loving brothers to call upon in your time of need - but having one or two good people is superior to having 550 awful people. And you just have to be brave, and use your hearts discernment to figure out if people like that are worth keeping around. Sometimes you can talk them around, other times you mark them out as bad influences on your life, and you just swerve them until they improve and you focus on your own life.

Mediating your mood is so very important, especially to your health not just your prayer quality and walk with Christ! I cannot stress this enough, whatever problems or pain you are suffering - you have to stay in command of your emotions and ensure your heart is always loving. Towards others, but mostly yourself! Again I can offer examples of how I sorted out my own declining moods and bad attitudes, which I used to say were always caused by the poor conduct of others. Now I recognise I am in command of my moods and attitude, so I work hard to maintain it. And the things I will use is : Christian Gospel music! I even started writing a lot of really good stuff, and listening to half an hour of it, without talking just considering the words (they are Bible verses in the songs) always clears any negativity from my mind, and refreshes my heart. Then I am in the right frame of mind to approach God and ask Him for favours or mercies, whatever it is I need from Him. And then immediately after I finish, I feel so blessed and grateful to have a God who cares enough to listen, and guide me in perfection when I never deserved it. I am just as undeserving as anybody lol. But He shows me great love, and I really appreciate that. That's what you have in store for you, when we get your prayer routine and the basics of faith ticking over. I have absolutely zero doubt, that when you are approaching Him in the right way He will respond with power you never thought possible. And your life will start getting easier a lot quicker :)

C) You confirmed your faith in God remains strong, and this is a huge benefit that many people lack but that you have! I see this as a blessing in myself, and you might agree when you've started seeing the benefits it can bring you. I know you have waited a long time, and I can see how frustrated you've become seemingly getting nowhere. But please, try as hard as you can to calm your heart and remain in a peaceful spirit. Remember that whatever your trials and pain, when they start to lessen you will immediately find peace and contentment with your life which seems impossible when times are tough. Instead of living for the moment you are in, try to focus on the future. Think to yourself "God is waiting for me to show Him what I need, and communicate clearly so that He can start working on my life", and be patient whilst this communication happens. Because God is all-powerful we always assume He can click his fingers and solve our lives, but in reality we do not work at the same speed as God. Really He is awaiting for us to become accepting of Him and peaceful, so that He can shower us with His grace and love. And that is why the approach is so very important.

So here is a checklist for you, I think if you can start doing these things as a priority every day you will start seeing improvements and we can go from there. Like I said, it always seems impossible that a long-term issue you have been unable to solve, would be solved in the blink of an eye by God waving His palm at you; but my experience is that this is exactly how it works when we are doing the right things and helping ourselves. After all, God loves a tryer :) So here is the list :
 
DAILY CORVID'S SUGGESTION LIST :
1) Clear your living space, make it comfortable, clean, remove things which could cause you worry or stress. Turn off your phone and computer, or music when you sit down to read Bible or to pray to Jesus. Commit yourself fully, surrender to the process of approaching God correctly, and know in your heart that when you accomplish this - that is you demonstrating your love and reliance on God, and He will flood your life with His grace and healing. Demons are powerful to us, but compared to Jesus they are weaker than insects under our boots. Satan himself dare not utter a single word in the presence of our Lord; who is Jesus Christ. He will look at the ground and keep his dirty mouth shut, whilst Jesus smiles at you and answers your prayers in the most spectacular ways. Prepare the way, get your house right then you're making your own life easier when you sit down to pray and study. You will immediately notice your mood improves just from that alone!

2) Cleanse your body, heart and your mind. Then sit down and prepare yourself to study and to after that, approach God in person.
I am not talking about silly hippy-cures, no oils or gems and definitely no daft Yoga! What I mean is waking up early, with nothing planned that you have to rush to get to, you want to be totally focused on your own health and mood being bettered. Then you can start cleansing your mind. I suggested music and reading before, to get your mind prepared for studying God's Word. Find a good playlist of Gospel Soul or Christian Prayer music. Make sure it is not rock or drum and bass, nothing that accelerates your heart-rate, it needs to be something pure and joyful; as you are trying to take the mood out of the music and spread that into your own heart and soul. Doesn't matter if you don't like Gospel music, you will learn to love it when you see how powerful the partnering of music and prayer can be for you, I promise you that!

3) Study your Bible to learn about proper prayer and fasting techniques, then apply these as best you can. Edifying the spirit, or in other words gladdening God to you visibly working on your problems in the way He guides us; will immediately draw Him to offering you support. Remember what I said, other people may be distracting your heart, offering you nothing but bad guidance and discouragement. If you have no good friends at all, then I would volunteer for fellowship with you until you have gained back control of your life and your health issues. I have a prayer ministry group of about 8 people so I am not always immediately available, but if I have you as a WhatsApp contact I will always get back to you within an hour or two at most. But the main thing, is just clear your space, your head, and your time out - then get your head down with your Bible and earnestly study it, focusing on the verses that concern prayers and fasting.

Try to start doing that every day for a few hours; leading you to your approach to God. And pray sincerely and faithfully, showing God that you are willing to do everything in your power to help yourself - and then He will lend you His mighty hand. Together, when we have God and a single good Christian brother there is no task we cannot achieve! No problem we cannot solve, we can move mountains with a tiny mustard seed of faith after all. Apologies for the long message brother, I am very eager to help you as best I can - so please grin and bare the message length and read it all. Then take a deep breath, promise yourself that you will never give up on yourself and that you will go back even more determined to reach God. And then get started! Please keep in touch, I will be praying for you here as well :)
DC
(Suggested music for prayer preparation :
)
 
DailyCorvid said:
DAILY CORVID'S SUGGESTION LIST :
1) Clear your living space, make it comfortable, clean, remove things which could cause you worry or stress. Turn off your phone and computer, or music when you sit down to read Bible or to pray to Jesus. Commit yourself fully, surrender to the process of approaching God correctly, and know in your heart that when you accomplish this - that is you demonstrating your love and reliance on God, and He will flood your life with His grace and healing. Demons are powerful to us, but compared to Jesus they are weaker than insects under our boots. Satan himself dare not utter a single word in the presence of our Lord; who is Jesus Christ. He will look at the ground and keep his dirty mouth shut, whilst Jesus smiles at you and answers your prayers in the most spectacular ways. Prepare the way, get your house right then you're making your own life easier when you sit down to pray and study. You will immediately notice your mood improves just from that alone!

2) Cleanse your body, heart and your mind. Then sit down and prepare yourself to study and to after that, approach God in person.
I am not talking about silly hippy-cures, no oils or gems and definitely no daft Yoga! What I mean is waking up early, with nothing planned that you have to rush to get to, you want to be totally focused on your own health and mood being bettered. Then you can start cleansing your mind. I suggested music and reading before, to get your mind prepared for studying God's Word. Find a good playlist of Gospel Soul or Christian Prayer music. Make sure it is not rock or drum and bass, nothing that accelerates your heart-rate, it needs to be something pure and joyful; as you are trying to take the mood out of the music and spread that into your own heart and soul. Doesn't matter if you don't like Gospel music, you will learn to love it when you see how powerful the partnering of music and prayer can be for you, I promise you that!

3) Study your Bible to learn about proper prayer and fasting techniques, then apply these as best you can. Edifying the spirit, or in other words gladdening God to you visibly working on your problems in the way He guides us; will immediately draw Him to offering you support. Remember what I said, other people may be distracting your heart, offering you nothing but bad guidance and discouragement. If you have no good friends at all, then I would volunteer for fellowship with you until you have gained back control of your life and your health issues. I have a prayer ministry group of about 8 people so I am not always immediately available, but if I have you as a WhatsApp contact I will always get back to you within an hour or two at most. But the main thing, is just clear your space, your head, and your time out - then get your head down with your Bible and earnestly study it, focusing on the verses that concern prayers and fasting.

Try to start doing that every day for a few hours; leading you to your approach to God. And pray sincerely and faithfully, showing God that you are willing to do everything in your power to help yourself - and then He will lend you His mighty hand. Together, when we have God and a single good Christian brother there is no task we cannot achieve! No problem we cannot solve, we can move mountains with a tiny mustard seed of faith after all. Apologies for the long message brother, I am very eager to help you as best I can - so please grin and bare the message length and read it all. Then take a deep breath, promise yourself that you will never give up on yourself and that you will go back even more determined to reach God. And then get started! Please keep in touch, I will be praying for you here as well :)
DC
(Suggested music for prayer preparation :
)
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I don't mean to be remotely derogatory, but this is all way out of my league, and all far too massively demanding, and you obviously have absolutely no grasp of how absolutely appalling and insanely overwhelming my situation is, you obviously have absolutely no grip on reality, I know cleanliness is next to Godliness, but given the appalling state I'm now in with the virus washing like I used to only a few months ago has become well nigh impossible as it would spread the contagious lesions which have already spread up my arms. And I don't do stuff like yoga! or ANY unGodly practices at all, I absolutely hate anything evil. And I can't use stuff like whatsapp as that needs a so-called "smart" phone which I don't have as it would only drive me to smash it! And I already sing along to worship songs on you tube. And you obviously find this Christian thing a right rip-roaring joyride just like all the rest, but I don't enjoy anything, my whole existence is anything but, how can I when supposedly "enjoyable" stuff is absolute hell?! And studying is FAR too massively overwhelming for me, even reading just a few lines is a heck of a struggle, we can't all be like academics! And I'm almost constantly in state of absolute desperation or rage, at breaking point, and how can I go to any church when I'm so infected with such an awful contagious virus? I can't even visit what few friends I have any more, never mind go to church, especially as I can't stand other people's behaviour as it absolutely rips my skull apart and I've been brutally forced out of far too many places including churches. And I'm far too HOT and sweaty to go to any church too. Honestly you normal healthy and so successful Christians must understand that not everyone is like you with such total ability and such total freedom to enjoy so much, some of us can't have anything remotely enjoyable. And I can't help noticing how exclusive the Bible appears whenever I do try and read it, it's nearly always written for those who are totally free and spiritually healthy and have a full share of the Holy Spirit and are totally free of anything hideously evil and therefore have a full relationship with the Lord which some of us are never allowed, it nearly always makes me feel even more excluded and worried as does Christian TV. And I absolutely don't need to hear or see anyone bragging about how they always get whatever they pray for, as I just get ignored when I'm in far more DESPERATE need, it's always those who least need it here in the UK who get prayers answered in my experience, and all too often those who are dreadfully arrogant too. And I certainly don't have anything to laugh about either. And you obviously haven't read all my posts either as I DON'T do alcohol, or smoking, or vaping, or drugs, or filthy porn, or gambling, or any remotely evil practices either. And because of the wretched virus which has infected far too much of my home and possessions including this new laptop, I now can't do any work that needs doing on my home either, or do any stuff for friends any more, and I've now got tons of tools and hardware, and test equipment and components etc. all sitting idle as I can't touch them any more because I would infect them and this virus cannot be sanitised with household chemicals or covid sanitisers either, it's only possible with stuff which is far too deadly to supply to ordinary consumers as it's far too dangerous. AND I've also got tons of stuff I need to get rid of but I now can't because of the virus, so my home is a dreadful over full mess, honestly it's a real nightmare scenario like some dreadful horror movie, but it's real. And of course I don't watch stupid evil films or programmes either, NO chance, I absolutely HATE anything remotely satanic or occultic etc. And I now have to wear disposable gloves nearly all the time and they cause me aggro too, as well as being bad for my hands because skin needs to breathe, but without them I'll soon get even more infected. So now I'm cut off and seriously isolated more than ever and almost no-one knows or cares and I NEED Christian company but no-one can visit me and I can't visit them either and I can't have any contact, and even cooking and eating and washing up is an absolute nightmare as is just about every chore, honestly it's driving me insane, and I'm now restricted to my local town only about three minutes away on the bus and also severely restricted in what I can eat now too, I can no longer eat a lot of stuff I used to, honestly it's just like some kind of insane prison sentence, all you ever so free normal crowd have absolutely no idea folk like me, or the appalling problems they face even exist. And how can I prepare myself properly for God with such an aggressive demon spirit forced on me that absolutely hates my guts and hounds me like some kind of psychopathic criminally insane moron? And most TV is absolutely unwatchable too, especially as I'm confined to lousy freeview too which is nearly all nothing but absolute crap as where I live I, and only I can't get a satellite signal because of meticulously placed trees on nearby council land. Honestly I try to be a decent honest clean living Christian but I just get treated like scum, and in my experience it just doesn't work without church. Surely God must have a plan for folk like me, but what you're suggesting is so demanding I don't know how I could manage even one of the things you mention as we can't all be so miles above it all, some of us are just far too insanely overwhelmed all the time, that's what a wretched curse does, you have no idea. And to have faith we're supposed to be so certain of what we can't see and need, but what if you can't even be confident of such things as it's so ruthlessly withheld from you? And without faith nothing Christian will work so how can I get anywhere with God?
 
Desperate62 said:
I don't mean to be remotely derogatory, but this is all way out of my league, and all far too massively demanding, and you obviously have absolutely no grasp of how absolutely appalling and insanely overwhelming my situation is, you obviously have absolutely no grip on reality, I know cleanliness is next to Godliness, but given the appalling state I'm now in with the virus washing like I used to only a few months ago has become well nigh impossible as it would spread the contagious lesions which have already spread up my arms. And I don't do stuff like yoga! or ANY unGodly practices at all, I absolutely hate anything evil. And I can't use stuff like whatsapp as that needs a so-called "smart" phone which I don't have as it would only drive me to smash it! And I already sing along to worship songs on you tube. And you obviously find this Christian thing a right rip-roaring joyride just like all the rest, but I don't enjoy anything, my whole existence is anything but, how can I when supposedly "enjoyable" stuff is absolute hell?! And studying is FAR too massively overwhelming for me, even reading just a few lines is a heck of a struggle, we can't all be like academics! And I'm almost constantly in state of absolute desperation or rage, at breaking point, and how can I go to any church when I'm so infected with such an awful contagious virus? I can't even visit what few friends I have any more, never mind go to church, especially as I can't stand other people's behaviour as it absolutely rips my skull apart and I've been brutally forced out of far too many places including churches. And I'm far too HOT and sweaty to go to any church too. Honestly you normal healthy and so successful Christians must understand that not everyone is like you with such total ability and such total freedom to enjoy so much, some of us can't have anything remotely enjoyable. And I can't help noticing how exclusive the Bible appears whenever I do try and read it, it's nearly always written for those who are totally free and spiritually healthy and have a full share of the Holy Spirit and are totally free of anything hideously evil and therefore have a full relationship with the Lord which some of us are never allowed, it nearly always makes me feel even more excluded and worried as does Christian TV. And I absolutely don't need to hear or see anyone bragging about how they always get whatever they pray for, as I just get ignored when I'm in far more DESPERATE need, it's always those who least need it here in the UK who get prayers answered in my experience, and all too often those who are dreadfully arrogant too. And I certainly don't have anything to laugh about either. And you obviously haven't read all my posts either as I DON'T do alcohol, or smoking, or vaping, or drugs, or filthy porn, or gambling, or any remotely evil practices either. And because of the wretched virus which has infected far too much of my home and possessions including this new laptop, I now can't do any work that needs doing on my home either, or do any stuff for friends any more, and I've now got tons of tools and hardware, and test equipment and components etc. all sitting idle as I can't touch them any more because I would infect them and this virus cannot be sanitised with household chemicals or covid sanitisers either, it's only possible with stuff which is far too deadly to supply to ordinary consumers as it's far too dangerous. AND I've also got tons of stuff I need to get rid of but I now can't because of the virus, so my home is a dreadful over full mess, honestly it's a real nightmare scenario like some dreadful horror movie, but it's real. And of course I don't watch stupid evil films or programmes either, NO chance, I absolutely HATE anything remotely satanic or occultic etc. And I now have to wear disposable gloves nearly all the time and they cause me aggro too, as well as being bad for my hands because skin needs to breathe, but without them I'll soon get even more infected. So now I'm cut off and seriously isolated more than ever and almost no-one knows or cares and I NEED Christian company but no-one can visit me and I can't visit them either and I can't have any contact, and even cooking and eating and washing up is an absolute nightmare as is just about every chore, honestly it's driving me insane, and I'm now restricted to my local town only about three minutes away on the bus and also severely restricted in what I can eat now too, I can no longer eat a lot of stuff I used to, honestly it's just like some kind of insane prison sentence, all you ever so free normal crowd have absolutely no idea folk like me, or the appalling problems they face even exist. And how can I prepare myself properly for God with such an aggressive demon spirit forced on me that absolutely hates my guts and hounds me like some kind of psychopathic criminally insane moron? And most TV is absolutely unwatchable too, especially as I'm confined to lousy freeview too which is nearly all nothing but absolute crap as where I live I, and only I can't get a satellite signal because of meticulously placed trees on nearby council land. Honestly I try to be a decent honest clean living Christian but I just get treated like scum, and in my experience it just doesn't work without church. Surely God must have a plan for folk like me, but what you're suggesting is so demanding I don't know how I could manage even one of the things you mention as we can't all be so miles above it all, some of us are just far too insanely overwhelmed all the time, that's what a wretched curse does, you have no idea. And to have faith we're supposed to be so certain of what we can't see and need, but what if you can't even be confident of such things as it's so ruthlessly withheld from you? And without faith nothing Christian will work so how can I get anywhere with God?
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Brother, seems to me that if you can write long detailed posts using a computer in a technical manner, then tidying your living space and reading is not too much for you? You just have to find the motivation and try the best you can. That's the best thing we can ever do for your own lives. And reading our Bible a bit more. That's what study means, it isn't academics it is just reading your Bible a bit more regularly, and turning off your phone when you do so. Ultimately, this is probably why you feel like Jesus is not helping you. God wants to see you making a strong effort, putting yourself into drive gear to master your own life. God will not molly coddle you because this promotes weakness, whereas God wants to promote strength in you. So if you can't do simple things like tidy up, get up earlier, pray and read a Bible - despite the fact you can write long detailed expansive posts which clearly take some intelligence to do (and you read my comment which was longer than the Bible passages I suggested); then God will see that you are just not _willing_ and will not encourage that. Honestly, I think if you did the best you could do rather than just flat out refusing to try at all - then God would be supporting you a lot more.

That is Christianity, it is not a cot for a baby - it is a map and compass for an adult. So yes the tasks are not easy baby level things, you have to be organised and thoroughly create your own space and keep it nice. Yes you have to make an effort to read your Bible, and take on tougher things like fasting and listening to Christian music to drive away demons. God is not your Butler, He is not going to do it all for you. But if you take on this task and give it the best effort you can manage, if you truly are not able - then He will make up the difference. That is how God works He will not lead you into a corner sucking on a dummy, He wants you to start taking strides in your life rather than get comfy in your sofa doing not much.

What I suggested is not at all demanding, in fact I have coached people living in asylums who can barely do anything for themselves - and they have successfully managed it or at least enough of it to have made a positive difference to their wellbeing. Without wanting to push you too hard, I would suggest that you give it a real go before giving up. That's what you're suggesting to yourself in your comment. You are saying "The idea of hard work does not appeal to me, because I have the excuse of a hard life - so I will not even try" and that is the reason God will not lift His hand to your aid, because you will not lift your own hand to your aid first. Jesus will meet you where you are, but not if you do not make an effort and approach Him the way He has instructed. That's up to you, I think if you did those things (which are not demanding when you are actually doing them) you would see a huge improvement in your life. Be willing to at least try, otherwise you will never get anywhere. That's how it works, you jump as far as you can, if you do that then God will carry you the rest of the way. Try it, you might be surprised how quickly you start turning the ship around!

Not like I don't have health issues and problems I could use for an excuse, but God does not care for them. He wants to see you taking hold of your life, and being as positive and productive as you can. God blesses the ones who work hard, and do not give up. And you can be that person, just get started and do what you can do. If you do that I guarantee you, things will quickly improve for you.

Here is a Bible study video I made last year that describes the trials of Job in the land of Israel; he was long-suffering and lived righteously and was in the end, rewarded for his efforts with all kinds of blessings. Because he faced his troubles with courage and faith, after years of suffering he saw delight in the mercy of God - more than anything he would have expected! Enjoy.

Job 3 Bible Study :
 
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DailyCorvid said:
Brother, seems to me that if you can write long detailed posts using a computer in a technical manner, then tidying your living space and reading is not too much for you? You just have to find the motivation and try the best you can. That's the best thing we can ever do for your own lives. And reading our Bible a bit more. That's what study means, it isn't academics it is just reading your Bible a bit more regularly, and turning off your phone when you do so. Ultimately, this is probably why you feel like Jesus is not helping you. God wants to see you making a strong effort, putting yourself into drive gear to master your own life. God will not molly coddle you because this promotes weakness, whereas God wants to promote strength in you. So if you can't do simple things like tidy up, get up earlier, pray and read a Bible - despite the fact you can write long detailed expansive posts which clearly take some intelligence to do (and you read my comment which was longer than the Bible passages I suggested); then God will see that you are just not _willing_ and will not encourage that. Honestly, I think if you did the best you could do rather than just flat out refusing to try at all - then God would be supporting you a lot more.

That is Christianity, it is not a cot for a baby - it is a map and compass for an adult. So yes the tasks are not easy baby level things, you have to be organised and thoroughly create your own space and keep it nice. Yes you have to make an effort to read your Bible, and take on tougher things like fasting and listening to Christian music to drive away demons. God is not your Butler, He is not going to do it all for you. But if you take on this task and give it the best effort you can manage, if you truly are not able - then He will make up the difference. That is how God works He will not lead you into a corner sucking on a dummy, He wants you to start taking strides in your life rather than get comfy in your sofa doing not much.

What I suggested is not at all demanding, in fact I have coached people living in asylums who can barely do anything for themselves - and they have successfully managed it or at least enough of it to have made a positive difference to their wellbeing. Without wanting to push you too hard, I would suggest that you give it a real go before giving up. That's what you're suggesting to yourself in your comment. You are saying "The idea of hard work does not appeal to me, because I have the excuse of a hard life - so I will not even try" and that is the reason God will not lift His hand to your aid, because you will not lift your own hand to your aid first. Jesus will meet you where you are, but not if you do not make an effort and approach Him the way He has instructed. That's up to you, I think if you did those things (which are not demanding when you are actually doing them) you would see a huge improvement in your life. Be willing to at least try, otherwise you will never get anywhere. That's how it works, you jump as far as you can, if you do that then God will carry you the rest of the way. Try it, you might be surprised how quickly you start turning the ship around!

Not like I don't have health issues and problems I could use for an excuse, but God does not care for them. He wants to see you taking hold of your life, and being as positive and productive as you can. God blesses the ones who work hard, and do not give up. And you can be that person, just get started and do what you can do. If you do that I guarantee you, things will quickly improve for you.

Here is a Bible study video I made last year that describes the trials of Job in the land of Israel; he was long-suffering and lived righteously and was in the end, rewarded for his efforts with all kinds of blessings. Because he faced his troubles with courage and faith, after years of suffering he saw delight in the mercy of God - more than anything he would have expected! Enjoy.

Job 3 Bible Study :
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I didn't want to type such a long and detailed post, but I felt I had to to better illustrate my situation, because you made far too many wrong assumptions about me, as I'm nothing like the all too typical mr. average easy-lifer but it takes me absolutely HOURS of struggle to type it because of all the stupid insane stunts constantly pulled on me whenever I try and type anything. And I hardly use my phone, I don't have a big social circle and I don't have any social life. And I don't use a sofa either. And what is "technical" about my post? I can't see anything remotely technical about it, and you obviously have no idea what it's like to be so backward and underdeveloped in the head, when I was a little sprog I couldn't fit in with other kids and couldn't go to any nurseries, so I couldn't develop and grow up properly, and of course I also couldn't fit in at any school either and ended up kicked out of several primaries and never went to any secondary schools at all but only a so-called "special" school for backward kids, so what if I can spell and use grammar and express strong views, that doesn't mean I'm anywhere near properly developed, and I found your post severely hard to read as it seriously overwhelmed me too, as does any such document, not just Christian stuff, it doesn't matter what it is, Christian, religious, secular, or atheist etc. And now you're suggesting that Christianity is virtually an exclusive club strictly for those fortunate enough to be born free of any life ruining hell and/or overwhelming demon spirits which you like most Christians obviously have no experience of whatsoever whereas I've had such a thing forced on me since I was born, over SIXTY YEARS! all because my mother chose a totally unfit partner who was obviously full of something hideous given how he behaved at home and how he treated me and my mother, and he forced it on me and utterly ruined my life, that's why I've never had any personal company ever, and now I can't even visit my friends any more, the only good side to it if there is any is that I'll have much more time to read my Bible, and I have read the whole book from cover to cover once and read the New Testament several times before, but reading is an absolutely overwhelming nightmare for me, and of course I don't read much at all, not novels or even newspapers either, even though I can read well, and not just English either, but I can also read Russian Cyrillic characters and roman numerals, and circuit diagrams too, and block diagrams and flow charts and some graphs too, that stuff's a bit technical, but anything beyond that stuff is way over my head and out of my league. And I used to fix old analogue electronics but I could never get my head round a lot of the maths and formulas involved, but only basic stuff like Ohm's law and watts, amps and volts and stuff like RMS, peak and average etc. but never the seriously complex stuff like Fourier analysis used for analysing things like AC induction motors and vectors and phasors and so on, stuff like that just insanely overloads my head, as does loads of stuff online. And it seems to me that far too much Christian stuff is just like an exclusive club for those lucky enough to be able to fit straight in with others and so easily enjoy themselves and who can so easily and casually and flippantly live miles above anything remotely grown up and demanding, and of course it never is remotely too demanding for them, oh no, it's nearly always a doddle for them and far too many even arrogantly brag about it and find it all a big rip-roaring joyride and I know that because I've seen it countless times, and not just Christians either but all manner of folk of nearly all ages. And remember assumption really is the mother of all foul-ups because it's nearly always wrong, and then those who get it all wrong go and act on it and take totally wrong action and won't be told because they just can't accept being told they're wrong. And simply reding stuff is nothing like studying, that's a whole different ball game altogether and I've no idea how to even start, and I don't know how I ever learned much about old electronics and I never did learn that much but I know it caused me all manner of major aggro just like anything else I've ever tried to do. But one thing I do remember is how I'd search through books for something only when I needed to find out about it, I couldn't learn any other way, and way back in the distant past I could fit in to some extent with some adults some of the time so I tried going to college to try and learn more about electronics but I couldn't manage it and never learned much and I couldn't even copy down the essential notes from the blackboard or write reports etc. as I just had no idea how plus I've always been held back and overwhelmed.
 
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Ok good, so you have identified the root cause and problems already. That is a good start. Now you have to try to deal with that, and the advice I am giving you is the method I know that works (through reading the Bible, and also having applied it in my own life). So we are half way there. Is that not why you are posting here? To find practical solutions to these problems you have plainly identified and are now aware of? Demonic influence is a real thing, and if you think that is the root cause of all these problems - then I would suggest that you are correct in thinking that. So the last thing is to apply the solutions as best you can. From what I read before, all you need to do - is reduce your suffering down sufficiently to enable you a little healing to get back to Church? And whilst it may be a challenge to do these things; if you are correct we are talking about casting out a long-served demon influencing your life and pouring down all these problems on you without hindrance to it.

I think you would be able to do these things, if you just drop all these other complaints and side-issues like arguments about "what is study" when I have clearly instructed you with what to do, if you don't want to call it studying when you read and practice then call it something else; it doesn't change the result if you do that so it's fine. But you do need to accept one thing, that you have argued here : And that is that, God will not meet you where you are, until you are prepared to approach Him in the way He has instructed. You might think God should make it a lot easier on you, and just serve your healing to you on a platter whilst you sit awaiting. That is something you can take up with Him yourself, I am not going to try to explain or reason God does what He does or why. I just know one thing, that if you follow His instructions given in Scripture - and you do the best you can, then regardless of anything else He will meet you where you are, and you will find healing and be able to cast away this influence of evil that afflicts your life. If you are unwilling it just will not happen for you. If you put all your energy into arguing counter-points to Scripture advice (which is all I have offered really) then that is all energy you are not putting into your own recovery. If reading is strenuous because of your health; there are plenty of audiobook versions of the King James Bible freely available on YouTube which I would recommend instead.

Remember, throughout all this - you have but one simple goal. You need to manage to get control of your emotions in order to get control of your life, sufficiently that you can approach God sincerely having made the required effort to follow His commands. That shows willing and demonstrates to God that you are ready and willing to receive His gifts and mercies. All your complaints about "the club" of Christianity and how other's behave or what their personalities are like - none of that will help you and I would say, it's wasteful to put your energy there if it is in limited supply. That's what I meant before by purifying your mood and improving your attitude. Flush out all these negative stuff, which for all you know is being put into you by your demon. The only reliable way to know "is this from God, or from my demon?" is by reading or listening to Scripture, and then putting that guidance into solid practice. Which I really hope that you do.

I will do a prayer for you now, and I will ask God to give you courage and strength to accomplish this task. Having seen how you write, it is clear whatever your special needs are - that you are a very intelligent person, who is capable of great things and just is held back by a lack of motivation to push through the mental barriers presented by your challenging life. I really believe you can accomplish these things, and get yourself back on the road to ridding yourself of your demon - and reclaiming your gifts from our Lord :)
 
DailyCorvid said:
Ok good, so you have identified the root cause and problems already. That is a good start. Now you have to try to deal with that, and the advice I am giving you is the method I know that works (through reading the Bible, and also having applied it in my own life). So we are half way there. Is that not why you are posting here? To find practical solutions to these problems you have plainly identified and are now aware of? Demonic influence is a real thing, and if you think that is the root cause of all these problems - then I would suggest that you are correct in thinking that. So the last thing is to apply the solutions as best you can. From what I read before, all you need to do - is reduce your suffering down sufficiently to enable you a little healing to get back to Church? And whilst it may be a challenge to do these things; if you are correct we are talking about casting out a long-served demon influencing your life and pouring down all these problems on you without hindrance to it.

I think you would be able to do these things, if you just drop all these other complaints and side-issues like arguments about "what is study" when I have clearly instructed you with what to do, if you don't want to call it studying when you read and practice then call it something else; it doesn't change the result if you do that so it's fine. But you do need to accept one thing, that you have argued here : And that is that, God will not meet you where you are, until you are prepared to approach Him in the way He has instructed. You might think God should make it a lot easier on you, and just serve your healing to you on a platter whilst you sit awaiting. That is something you can take up with Him yourself, I am not going to try to explain or reason God does what He does or why. I just know one thing, that if you follow His instructions given in Scripture - and you do the best you can, then regardless of anything else He will meet you where you are, and you will find healing and be able to cast away this influence of evil that afflicts your life. If you are unwilling it just will not happen for you. If you put all your energy into arguing counter-points to Scripture advice (which is all I have offered really) then that is all energy you are not putting into your own recovery. If reading is strenuous because of your health; there are plenty of audiobook versions of the King James Bible freely available on YouTube which I would recommend instead.

Remember, throughout all this - you have but one simple goal. You need to manage to get control of your emotions in order to get control of your life, sufficiently that you can approach God sincerely having made the required effort to follow His commands. That shows willing and demonstrates to God that you are ready and willing to receive His gifts and mercies. All your complaints about "the club" of Christianity and how other's behave or what their personalities are like - none of that will help you and I would say, it's wasteful to put your energy there if it is in limited supply. That's what I meant before by purifying your mood and improving your attitude. Flush out all these negative stuff, which for all you know is being put into you by your demon. The only reliable way to know "is this from God, or from my demon?" is by reading or listening to Scripture, and then putting that guidance into solid practice. Which I really hope that you do.

I will do a prayer for you now, and I will ask God to give you courage and strength to accomplish this task. Having seen how you write, it is clear whatever your special needs are - that you are a very intelligent person, who is capable of great things and just is held back by a lack of motivation to push through the mental barriers presented by your challenging life. I really believe you can accomplish these things, and get yourself back on the road to ridding yourself of your demon - and reclaiming your gifts from our Lord :)
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I forgot to mention, or it might've exceeded the 10,000 character limit, that as Christians we must have an adequate and fully active share of the Holy Spirit to do anything remotely Christian, and to function as a Christian etc. AND of course a wretched demon is a major hinderance and in my case it's not only a mere "hinderance" but an overwhelming crushing weight making not only Christian stuff but just about anything remotely adult far too insanely heavy and it far too often outrageously interferes with even trivial tasks and causes me to foul them up appallingly, and it causes all manner of appalling other problems which would need far too many words here, and I've typed too many already. If we don't have such an adequate anointing then we simply cannot function as a Christian, and as far as I know I only have a very basic anointing which has given me a serious love for little ones but not much else, so we must be ABLE as well as willing. And some of the preachers on the Sonlife TV channel have recently emphasised how important it is to have an adequate anointing, without whom we simply can't function as Christians. And of course we must be in a fit state spiritually to be able to read the Bible properly and persistently, it's no good having to force yourself to read it against appalling and overwhelming opposition, it's no wonder I find it such a struggle to read just a mere few lines, my concentration wanders all over the place and gets withheld so no matter how many times I try I just keep losing my grip on what I'm trying to do, and it was same at school and at college, I just couldn't get stuff written down or get stuff done etc. and a whole load of work I wanted to do on my home has never been done either because I've been so forcibly held back so I was never in a fit state of mind, or if I did manage to start anything it would get systematically ripped apart and ruined because of something messing with my head and causing me to make appalling irreversible foul-ups and I would only find out when it was far too late and it was ruined, and I'm always the last to know, and I've had to explain stuff like that to the disability welfare authorities to explain just one of many reasons for not being able to work. You might've heard of the "spirit of heaviness" that's often mentioned by Christians, well it's something like that that's forced on me as well as being so outrageously disruptive and destructive.
 
Desperate62 said:
I forgot to mention, or it might've exceeded the 10,000 character limit, that as Christians we must have an adequate and fully active share of the Holy Spirit to do anything remotely Christian, and to function as a Christian etc. AND of course a wretched demon is a major hinderance and in my case it's not only a mere "hinderance" but an overwhelming crushing weight making not only Christian stuff but just about anything remotely adult far too insanely heavy and it far too often outrageously interferes with even trivial tasks and causes me to foul them up appallingly, and it causes all manner of appalling other problems which would need far too many words here, and I've typed too many already. If we don't have such an adequate anointing then we simply cannot function as a Christian, and as far as I know I only have a very basic anointing which has given me a serious love for little ones but not much else, so we must be ABLE as well as willing. And some of the preachers on the Sonlife TV channel have recently emphasised how important it is to have an adequate anointing, without whom we simply can't function as Christians. And of course we must be in a fit state spiritually to be able to read the Bible properly and persistently, it's no good having to force yourself to read it against appalling and overwhelming opposition, it's no wonder I find it such a struggle to read just a mere few lines, my concentration wanders all over the place and gets withheld so no matter how many times I try I just keep losing my grip on what I'm trying to do, and it was same at school and at college, I just couldn't get stuff written down or get stuff done etc. and a whole load of work I wanted to do on my home has never been done either because I've been so forcibly held back so I was never in a fit state of mind, or if I did manage to start anything it would get systematically ripped apart and ruined because of something messing with my head and causing me to make appalling irreversible foul-ups and I would only find out when it was far too late and it was ruined, and I'm always the last to know, and I've had to explain stuff like that to the disability welfare authorities to explain just one of many reasons for not being able to work. You might've heard of the "spirit of heaviness" that's often mentioned by Christians, well it's something like that that's forced on me as well as being so outrageously disruptive and destructive.
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I totally understand where you are coming from brother, truly I do. I wasn't saying the demon is a mere hindrance to you - I was saying the demon is unhindered when it preys upon you without God's hand against it. I appreciate you putting this much time and effort into describing things to me, as I am a stranger to you and you owe me no such time. I am putting an equal effort back towards you, as I believe we can start getting this solved for you. I don't know who has been ministering to you, and made you feel like you are inadequate to accomplish living in the spirit. I can tell you I hold no such opinion having spoken to you in this short time. In my opinion you are well capable, though this is a difficult task for you - I can tell you have determination in your heart, and a good head on your shoulders. You explain things well, and seem to have a very good understanding of your own situation. These are all very positive things, and will be your tools to rid yourself of this affliction in your life.

It's incredibly tough on you the problems you seem to be having, but God does not give us weight that we cannot bear. God has total confidence in your ability to overcome this challenge, and when you do see you rise in confidence and courage for all the other areas of your life. I can attest to this same process working within me; I have a disability and also Autism and ADHD. But over time these things affect me less and less, to the stage I have a life now that many studious types would be envious of. That was coming from a background of bad mental illness, drug abuse and homelessness - so I am not speaking to you as one who is somehow "above you" but truly as an equal in both good and bad experiences. I was convinced I had Satan personally hovering near me at all times, and it almost drove me to physical death. I survived only because of my prayers, and at that point I was an Atheist who had no faith at all (or so I believed at that point). Trust me when I say, though you cannot imagine it now: You have sufficient grit and spirit, strength and courage to cast off this demon _and some more._

The disability welfare in this country is a joke, I can't offer you any counsel as to causing them to become good. Unfortunately it's just a case of being patience and getting the odd bit of good fortune, they're pretty clueless most times. I found that relying upon them made things worse and put them to the back of my mind, once I had accepted that they were not going to give me the answers I needed - I was released from the daily frustrations of constantly ringing and texting them to try to get something off them. When I took that energy directly to God, I was immediately rewarded by Him. That's what I need you to see here, is that men can offer you only words of encouragement and the occasional crutch. God can offer you miracle! That is where your energies would be better applied. Don't worry about what you have been taught in the past, perhaps they were not good teachers and mangled the message. The anointing issue you can put that to one side, as soon as God can see you are doing everything you can (even if it is next to nothing); He will immediately fly to aid your battles and you will start turning things around.

That's how I find God to work, His character is that of a loving Father. He wants to see you winning your battles, pushing yourself into improved strength and a better mindfulness and attitude. If you go "all out" and you don't succeed, then you will still not fail. Because God will watch you tirelessly work, and when you are about to run out of steam - He will turn up and reward your efforts with a victory. That is how God teaches you without stifling your own learning experience. He let's you run to the end of your lungs breath; then refills them with His breath, just when you think you cannot go on - He will be in your legs running you over the finish line. And then you will feel empowered, refreshed and victorious! I can see your messages slowly turning from panic to reason; that's a really great sign. In only 4-5 messages you are already showing signs that your spirit is about to be boosted hugely for this task. God is already with you and you don't know it yet; He is right behind you willing you on.

Why don't you get in touch with me on email or Whatsap or something, since you are freely giving me all this time and energy - I feel like recording voice clips or using direct text chat would be easier for you. Then when you have solved your issues, sufficiently that you can FEEL like things are improving - come back here and post your testimony for others to be encouraged by. I am just writing some songs I have time for you, I can see you are willing and that's definitely something I can work with. God bless you and your life, I prayed for you earlier and I will pray for you again every day until we see signs of solid increases to your condition and your spirit. You are not alone, God is with you and as far as I can tell, He has sent me to you as a guide and a helper. Are you able to sleep well naturally, or do you require medication for it?

I am prescribed Pregablin for my TGMA; and that causes drowsiness - which was a right pain in the backside when I was trying to struggle out of strife but now is very useful as a sleep aid when I have a lot of pain. Sleep is so important when you're battling poor health with or without demonic influence. So if you are not getting good sleep we should see if your GP can help you with that, and work on it first. The little things make the biggest differences! Sleep is just as important as food and human contact. Let's see if we can't get you back on track with those basic things first - and take it from there.

DC
 
You mention several issues here. First of all when I had to apply for p.i.p. they wouldn't let me have it, so I took the dwp to tribunal and humiliated them in front of the judge and his panel. And I won on the grounds of misophonia which must be a legal first here in the UK, and the dwp also did something really stupid, and effectively put their foot right in it by sending me a stupid letter falsely accusing me of stating the complete opposite of what I wrote on my application form, so I showed it to the panel in front of the dwp's representative and shut him up, there was nothing he could say in response except that he had no further questions. And no-one else has made me "feel inadequate", not any ministers, it's just the way I am, I'm just SO overwhelmed by anything remotely grown up, it just totally overloads my head, sometimes I've just totally lost it and gone stark raving mad and smashed things up and that's gone on for 60-odd years because us humans are simply not designed to be relentlessly hounded and forcibly denied essential abilities, we have to be able to unwind and escape, but for me there is no escape, not even Christianity has provided such a thing. And I don't mean to be remotely hateful or spiteful but I really am absolutely sick and tired of hearing and reading the same old story by other Christians about drink and/or drugs and how they got such great help and freedom when they turned to God, honestly it's like a stuck record! That's what they keep repeating on Christian TV and on you tube, but there's never any mention of ANYONE like me, it's as if I'm a one off, and I've been struggling to be set free for nearly 40 YEARS! And now I'm worse off than ever with this wretched virus. And I've no problem sleeping, though I can't lay down anymore, I now have to sleep sat up in my bed. And whats'app needs a "smart" phone which I don't have as they're far too demanding and a security nightmare. we can't all be born expert smart alecs. And this last two months or so since the virus erupted I've felt the Holy Spirit touch me an unprecedented number of times and moved me to tears, sometimes when I've played worship songs on you tube and sometimes when I've cried out to Him in sheer desperation, and once when a lady prayed for me on a phone helpline in London so I must be doing something right. And in the last year or so I've had a series of dreams about the end times, the first one was somewhere in Northern Ireland on an orange marching day and there was a preacher preaching on a street with an amplifier and someone cut the power cord to shut him up, and then the worst of all happened, time ran out and lava appeared! And in another one the town of Burnley here in east lancs. had become a war zone caused by muslim fanatics, and all manner of services like food shops and public transport had been shut down because of the battle. And in another the gay crowd took up arms and were starting a war, and in another one I saw something absolutely terrifying, I was in Rochdale and I saw a big broad flat horizon with an absolutely MASSIVE raging fire, which must've been something like a hundred miles high! far bigger than us mere mortals could ever create so it must've been divine, just like a scene from Revelation, and it really shook me up as I woke up afterwards and the first thing that came into my head was the scripture in the Acts chapter two where it says "Your old men shall dream dreams". And as for human contact which of course I need, how can I with such a contagious virus? any such contact would have to be online only, even letters would be far too risky. And what I really need is a nice friendly civilised Christian lady, preferably via an online video portal of some kind, but there's no such group anywhere near where I am, and a nice friendly woman who is a good listener is the only thing in this world that makes me feel good, and it doesn't need contact, or any talk about anything personal either, but needless to say anything like that is ruthlessly withheld from me, I'm only ever allowed more and more persecution and appalling entrapment where lateral thinking just doesn't work because the demon has every route blocked. And I don't do "mindfulness" or "wellness" etc. stuff that's too popular these days with the secular crowd as they involve unGodly rituals, It's what they get up to in some girly pampering shops. And I've had to take pregablin in the past, and gabapentin for nerve pain which put me on crutches which I couldn't use now as I'd only indelibly infect them. And I have some seriously strong views about spiritual matters, and some other matters, like I absolutely furiously hate anyone deliberately feeding occult-based content to kids, like far too many do and no-one ever says a word in protest, not even Christians, and I can't help noticing how the gay pride crowd only care about the rights of the mob, but not the individual, what if someone gay doesn't want to be and wants to seek God's help involving a church as not everyone can get prayers answered on their own, but seeking such help is now banned here in the UK which is so undemocratic and totally against what our war heroes fought and died for. And my local mp, who claims to be Christian, even supports such a ban which gives me the impression that she must be just religious, like C of E, or catholic or jw etc. but not born again. And the gay crowd expect all their crowd to remain gay whether they want to be or not, again totally undemocratic.
 
Is that so? Ok, well I think you demonstrated perfectly exactly what I was saying, but you knew that already. I digress. Your problems are much much worse than the millions of Christians who beat addiction alcoholism or whatever problems they faced - but you come to them for answers anyway and then ignore their advice. You are your own worst enemy, not the world. That is the obvious thing, you will never solve these issues yourself because you lack the intention; this is the reason you see God but not His support. He wants to see you make an effort and stop relying on other people for things you should be doing for yourself.

Ironically - The world would love you, people would lend you fellowship, and God would bless you if you did that. Christians will come to your aid if you did that, and I would guide you through it all if you would do that; even as a total stranger. I am happy to give you my free time at 3:19am - for no rewards, more than doing a good turn for a fellow human being. But you refuse it all, and produce a list of backhanded slights to deride the effort. This points to your own attitudes being the root cause of your issues rather than a lack of avaliable guidance.

Everything I have observed of you and said to you as counsel is true, and if only you would actually get off your backside and put it into practice your problems would be history in a matter of months. But of course, it is just easier for you to blame the world for causing the problems you suffer because then you don't need to take any responsibility. A nice civilised Christian lady? Ok let's work on that. That is something we can get you prepped for, though again without prayer it's going to be a tough ask.

In order to find a nice civilised Christian lady who would offer you so much, you have to have something to offer her or she will be a fool to spend her time on you? List the things you offer to a potential nice civilised Christian lady; list your blessings and then the things you wish to find in a lady. You already listed "Christian" and "Civilised". So first thing is are you able to offer these two things for her? If you are expecting so much of her before you even know her name, you had better be ready to offer at least those things in return! That is what a Christian would do. Christians do not take but never give, and not demand but never offer.

/ Conclusion on this entire exchange


Effectively, unless you commit to trying out the guidance Christianity offers you then you can never hope to benefit from it. So I would suggest a different approach for you, or if you are unwilling to change your own approach like I suggested - then I would suggest you take a different avenue for seeking counsel. I can lead you to the water, but I cannot make you take a drink from it. Other professionals however may be more useful to you, for encouraging you to change your attitude and try these things out before discarding them as condescending or useless. You did actually validate that this stuff works for many other people in your comment; but remain committed to not trying to make use of it for yourself.

My synopsis of you, from my position as a freelance fellowship counsellor - is whilst you do appear genuine, you do not seem to be receptive to any guidance. Likely you are seeking validation that your situation is as bad as you say it is, and that the blame lies with the rest of the planet and not with you at all, whereas I don't think you actually want the support you asked for and came here to find - which is why you throw it away without thought, despite admitting that it works for other people. You are suffering mental disorder of some kind, which you say can overwhelm you - and that this prevents you from receiving help in typical ways. This means anything we say here is going to be ignored by you, whilst you continually restate your pleas you will never follow the advice. Therefore you may benefit more from compassionate, trauma-informed pastoral care or mental health support offered by a psychiatrist, rather than standard theological advice from a Christian support agent as the people you find here will be.

I will still reply to your message with the same advice in future, because it is good solid advice that definitely would work had you put it into practice; and other people in future who read this will find it to use; and probably find the healing that they seek. But I do genuinely think based on your answers, that you would be better served with a mental health professional than a guidance counsellor. They can help you to ask the right questions, to find the answers you actually want, which I feel like is not happening here.

You asked for Christian counsel, then slagged off Christianity and the people who gave the counsel (and even slagged off the many people who benefitted from it in the past, including myself). With an attitude like you have, you are likely to worsen - whilst you continue to blame God or society. Logically speaking, if you want help with your life, but commit none of it upon your own decisions or behaviour you will never change anything; and just continue this frustration loop you have found yourself in. Only a medically trained professional can help you with that, because that is symptomatic of a mental disorder rather than something friendly advice or wise guidance will be able to solve. But I will continue to pray for you, and wish you well.
  • Harley Street Mental Health – 020 3488 3655
  • The Blue Tree Clinic - Private Psychiatrists – 07729 528568
  • London Psychiatry Clinic – 020 3488 8555
Here is a draft letter of introduction you can send them if a phonecall is too stressful for you :

----
Subject: Request for Mental Health Support and Assessment
Dear [Clinic Name Goes Here],

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the possibility of booking an initial consultation or assessment with one of your psychiatrists.


I have been living with complex, long-term mental health challenges, including severe isolation, sensory overload, and emotional distress. These issues have made it difficult for me to access traditional support systems, and I am now seeking professional help from a specialist with experience in chronic and multi-layered mental health conditions. I have been frequently using informal internet counselling services but they are unable to help me, since I tend to ignore their advice and get stuck in a frustrating loop of restating the same complaints but then refusing to take the advice which is offered, even though I agreed it was good advice when other people use it. I don't understand myself or why I am suffering like this, and I think the next step is medical guidance. So that is why I am contacting you today.

Please let me know if you are accepting new patients and what steps I need to take to begin the process.


Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,
[Full Name]
[Phone Number or Email]
 
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DailyCorvid said:
Is that so? Ok, well I think you demonstrated perfectly exactly what I was saying, but you knew that already. I digress. Your problems are much much worse than the millions of Christians who beat addiction alcoholism or whatever problems they faced - but you come to them for answers anyway and then ignore their advice. You are your own worst enemy, not the world. That is the obvious thing, you will never solve these issues yourself because you lack the intention; this is the reason you see God but not His support. He wants to see you make an effort and stop relying on other people for things you should be doing for yourself.

Ironically - The world would love you, people would lend you fellowship, and God would bless you if you did that. Christians will come to your aid if you did that, and I would guide you through it all if you would do that; even as a total stranger. I am happy to give you my free time at 3:19am - for no rewards, more than doing a good turn for a fellow human being. But you refuse it all, and produce a list of backhanded slights to deride the effort. This points to your own attitudes being the root cause of your issues rather than a lack of avaliable guidance.

Everything I have observed of you and said to you as counsel is true, and if only you would actually get off your backside and put it into practice your problems would be history in a matter of months. But of course, it is just easier for you to blame the world for causing the problems you suffer because then you don't need to take any responsibility. A nice civilised Christian lady? Ok let's work on that. That is something we can get you prepped for, though again without prayer it's going to be a tough ask.

In order to find a nice civilised Christian lady who would offer you so much, you have to have something to offer her or she will be a fool to spend her time on you? List the things you offer to a potential nice civilised Christian lady; list your blessings and then the things you wish to find in a lady. You already listed "Christian" and "Civilised". So first thing is are you able to offer these two things for her? If you are expecting so much of her before you even know her name, you had better be ready to offer at least those things in return! That is what a Christian would do. Christians do not take but never give, and not demand but never offer.

/ Conclusion on this entire exchange


Effectively, unless you commit to trying out the guidance Christianity offers you then you can never hope to benefit from it. So I would suggest a different approach for you, or if you are unwilling to change your own approach like I suggested - then I would suggest you take a different avenue for seeking counsel. I can lead you to the water, but I cannot make you take a drink from it. Other professionals however may be more useful to you, for encouraging you to change your attitude and try these things out before discarding them as condescending or useless. You did actually validate that this stuff works for many other people in your comment; but remain committed to not trying to make use of it for yourself.

My synopsis of you, from my position as a freelance fellowship counsellor - is whilst you do appear genuine, you do not seem to be receptive to any guidance. Likely you are seeking validation that your situation is as bad as you say it is, and that the blame lies with the rest of the planet and not with you at all, whereas I don't think you actually want the support you asked for and came here to find - which is why you throw it away without thought, despite admitting that it works for other people. You are suffering mental disorder of some kind, which you say can overwhelm you - and that this prevents you from receiving help in typical ways. This means anything we say here is going to be ignored by you, whilst you continually restate your pleas you will never follow the advice. Therefore you may benefit more from compassionate, trauma-informed pastoral care or mental health support offered by a psychiatrist, rather than standard theological advice from a Christian support agent as the people you find here will be.

I will still reply to your message with the same advice in future, because it is good solid advice that definitely would work had you put it into practice; and other people in future who read this will find it to use; and probably find the healing that they seek. But I do genuinely think based on your answers, that you would be better served with a mental health professional than a guidance counsellor. They can help you to ask the right questions, to find the answers you actually want, which I feel like is not happening here.

You asked for Christian counsel, then slagged off Christianity and the people who gave the counsel (and even slagged off the many people who benefitted from it in the past, including myself). With an attitude like you have, you are likely to worsen - whilst you continue to blame God or society. Logically speaking, if you want help with your life, but commit none of it upon your own decisions or behaviour you will never change anything; and just continue this frustration loop you have found yourself in. Only a medically trained professional can help you with that, because that is symptomatic of a mental disorder rather than something friendly advice or wise guidance will be able to solve. But I will continue to pray for you, and wish you well.
  • Harley Street Mental Health – 020 3488 3655
  • The Blue Tree Clinic - Private Psychiatrists – 07729 528568
  • London Psychiatry Clinic – 020 3488 8555
Here is a draft letter of introduction you can send them if a phonecall is too stressful for you :

----
Subject: Request for Mental Health Support and Assessment
Dear [Clinic Name Goes Here],

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the possibility of booking an initial consultation or assessment with one of your psychiatrists.


I have been living with complex, long-term mental health challenges, including severe isolation, sensory overload, and emotional distress. These issues have made it difficult for me to access traditional support systems, and I am now seeking professional help from a specialist with experience in chronic and multi-layered mental health conditions. I have been frequently using informal internet counselling services but they are unable to help me, since I tend to ignore their advice and get stuck in a frustrating loop of restating the same complaints but then refusing to take the advice which is offered, even though I agreed it was good advice when other people use it. I don't understand myself or why I am suffering like this, and I think the next step is medical guidance. So that is why I am contacting you today.

Please let me know if you are accepting new patients and what steps I need to take to begin the process.


Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,
[Full Name]
[Phone Number or Email]
Click to expand...
I think that what's happened here is two things. First of all I think you've made the all too familiar mistake that far too many make with me, that of misinterpreting what I've written or said, just like british gas did when I wrote to them to let them know I'd fitted central heating so my gas consumption would increase so they needed to reassess my annual usage, but they totally misunderstood what I wrote and then acted on that gross misunderstanding and I then had to struggle to sort it all out. And the other thing is that with me stuff which should be blatantly obvious, and often vitally important, is withheld until it's way too late and I end up suffering as a result, I think that's how I ended up wrapped in this wretched virus, which I most certainly do NOT blame God for, or the world, but far more likely some vital detail which should've been obvious years ago, so don't be too quick to misjudge as so many are, I think you might've read what I've written a bit too quickly without paying enough attention to detail. And I do seriously appreciate your time and devotion to such an undeserving nobody like me, a total stranger, and I had no idea you were online and on here at three am. And as for personal company, even before the dreaded virus took hold I still had nothing much to offer, no going out, no sharing the TV etc. or long walks either, as it would only be torture for me, and now I can't even offer affection either as I can't have any contact, all I could offer would be some good natured chat, and then she would have to be very quiet natured, certainly not a rowdy extrovert far too prone to hair triggered raucous cackling fits which are a brutal violent assault to me. And I will be quite frankly honest with you that my experience of trying to be Christian is that it always seems to be all demand, demand, demand and not much help, you've always got to be so thoroughly grown up and so fully mature and so miles above everything, something I've never been able to be, and I'm not spending thousands on private secular shrinks, especially as they would only grossly misunderstand me. But despite all the appalling personal problems I have somehow managed to receive powerful healing in the past, from stuff that was otherwise totally untreatable, never mind curable, so I know that there definitely is an all powerful God up above us and that He certainly can heal the impossible, He's demonstrated that clearly enough. And don't you think I would like to have been born normal and free, as I would like to have married a nice pretty natural brunette and had a little miniature of her as I absolutely adore little girls. And I wish more Christians would recognise those like me born forcibly afflicted instead of banging on about addictions.
 
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I don't agree. I think you could be doing more to help yourself, rather than putting all this effort into arguments against the good advice offered you could instead be using it. And if you cannot manage it alone, then as I suggested you could gain the use of a professional who's entire career and training - is helping people in your position. I don't know how anybody could misinterpret what you've said here, you repeated each thing you said at least 3 times and were clear in your language. Here is a bullet point list of all the things you said in your comments to show you; it is not a misinterpretation it is exactly what you said.
  • Severe lifelong disabilities and mental overload have left you socially and spiritually isolated, with no church access, social support, or functional daily life. So you validate your problem clearly and you also said you are sick of hearing other people's problems being solved via Christians methods (I supplied the example of my own, homelessness mental disorder and drug abuse and you scoffed at it).
  • Feels spiritually disconnected despite decades of commitment to Christianity, you said you do not experience the same transformative relationship with God that others describe - and you gave the example that you feel God gives you an unfair share despite saying you do believe in him. I suggested a focus on prayer which you can gain through reading the Bible more. Again you decline this.
  • Experiences intense spiritual torment, you describe demonic oppression that blocks faith, prayer, and personal growth having been an issue for nearly 40 years - but when I suggested two solutions which work once again you decline to even try them.
  • Contagious viral skin condition - your warts conditions has worsened isolation, making physical contact, hygiene, home maintenance, and even computer/device use extremely difficult or unsafe. I suggested a few things and even offered personally to minister you but you declined using insulting language to these. You said it is too much for you, but then you say you have "worked" with DWP and BG in a way that would be similarly taxing and had no issue with that..
  • Overwhelmed by reading and study - You said basic reading is too much for you —despite being articulate and capable in technical basics like electronics and diagram reading, disputing official documentation and applications from DWP and BG. Then I suggested e-books and YouTube videos with short sermons and you also declined to try to use these as well.
  • Perceives Christianity as inaccessible to people with severe limitations - You said you feel that churches, teachings, and Christian culture often assume emotional freedom and social ease - and that the people within those circles trying to help you are entitled, ignorant, dishonest and not useful to you. So in 40 years you report not meeting a single useful person yet you come here looking for one.
  • Cries out for emotional and spiritual connection- You claim longing for friendly, non-judgmental people in particular Christian woman to talk with online, without physical contact or personal demands. But then you display unpleasantness towards the people who are giving you their time - and leave evidence (for instance this conversations) that when these ladies see, is going to 100% put them off contacting you. You also refused to list your blessings, or take any other proactive steps which could mediate this to help present yourself better.
  • Struggles to maintain emotional stability - You said you experiences breakdowns, extreme frustration, and rage due to the overwhelming nature of life and isolation, bitterness specifically towards Christians and you show an aversion towards Christian guidance but you are happy to express what you describe to be demonic anger at then when they're trying to help you out.
  • Has had vivid, spiritually symbolic dreams - You have interpreted your dreams and visions as end-times visions, reinforcing a belief in God’s reality and in biblical prophecy. But you scoff at the idea that other people have these, the same as you did with all the other Scriptural or testimony based guidance you have been offered. So it gives the impression that from God all the way down to me here - you are just ignoring and marginalising every single thing you are told and refusing to try to apply it. You are unwilling to try.
  • Has experienced moments of emotional stirring from the Holy Spirit - You did say you like listening to worship music and you do use prayer during desperate moments; which should be seen as signs of hope. But then you always end those anecdotes in a statement claiming they do not work. Again when you are supplied with reasons for this you dispute or deny them but have not committed to these in any meaningful way and blame other people for this in your return comments.
  • Deeply opposes modern secular ideologies - You mention occult content, LGBTQ+ political pressure, conversion therapy bans, Christian fellowship from strangers and other introductive communion efforts and communities with derision. You lump these groups together as equally corrupt and useless despite their clear differences. Then you said you feel betrayed by cultural and political shifts in the UK, again blaming the society and it's participants but you never once attempt to claim any responsibility.
  • Feels forgotten or excluded by the church and Christian community - You said you have received no response to past outreach and feeling there is no place for people like you; but as we went through you do everything you can to ignore the communications you receive here and marginalise or insult the people good enough to give you that time and that fellowship. So you make it clear that you are capable but unwilling, that you are condemning of others but never of yourself.

So that's all from your comments not from me interpretating your life experiences - this is what you have physically said of yourself. You cannot say that I am misjudging you, when all I know of you is the things you said in this conversation. I am not a crystal ball magician nor a mind-reader. If you type big long posts containing all these things then that is what people will know and see of you, and that is the reason I think these things. Not because of an interpretation because because of your testimony statements of your own life and examples you have given me.

Whatever your problems are or the cause, if you do not try different things you will not get a different result. So in 40 years the things you are doing clearly have not worked. Perhaps it is time to try something else? You even admitted yourself these things seem to give success to many others; regardless of whether or not you marginalise all our problems - the problems we faced are not lesser than your own. The demons other people successfully cast out are not different to your own. The isolation of homelessness and addictions suffered by others are no less difficult to surmount than your own health and social issues. And I said already, you will not find a good Christian women if you cannot offer anything to her. Women are not like pets, you can't just get one and start feeding it. It's unrealistic to say "I want to find a wife" but then offer nothing in return for all the things a wife would give you. And you say you would like a daughter, but also that you cannot manage your own life as it right now! It's a totally unrealistic way to see your life. There is nothing anybody can help you with until you face these issues first. That's just how it is. How do we know this? Because as you noted yourself many many others who went before you, have provided the proof of their own lives and that is how we all solved these issues. We took responsibility, we did the right things, made the right moves. And they worked.

That is what you should do. Rather than trying to logically argue around the solutions offered - you should just start trying them out.
 
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Good grief! You really are far too quick to MISjudge and and get me all wrong, you cannot possibly properly know me just through what I've written here. And despite whatever you think, no-one has made any deliberate personal attacks specifically against you, if you wrongly choose to see it that way then you need to start analysing yourself instead of being so persistently psycho-analytical with me, but just try being a bit more human and a bit less "professional" for once. I am a highly complex character who cannot be judged simply by reading forum postings, and you most certainly HAVE misunderstood a lot of what I've said no matter how much you choose to disagree, you cannot go through life thinking that folk are personally criticising you when in reality I was making a general statement about addictions and addicts etc. The simple fact is no-one forces anyone to drink, smoke, inject, or gamble etc., it has to be self inflicted, whereas some folk like me are born forcibly afflicted with multiple appalling problems, all inherited, none of it their own fault, but it's forced on them by an unfit parent where either they themselves, or their ancestors had been involved in some kind of hideous evil practices or culture etc. and that is not a personal attack against you, but a simple statement of fact. And it's not the first time someone has so outrageously misinterpreted one of my statements as a personal attack, some woman on faecebook did the same several years ago when I was a member there, and of course again it was just a general statement of fact but she wrongly decided to interpret it as a personal attack and of course wouldn't be told, just as you won't either, I think you just can't accept being wrong about anything, a wee bit of destructive selfish pride creeping in...instead of humility which is not only a Christian requirement but so essential to life. And I DID NOT say I wanted a wife and daughter, that would be totally impractical in the state I'm in, so kindly get your facts right and try reading stuff properly instead of just casually and flippantly flicking through it far too quickly. Honestly it makes me wonder how many innocent folk have been convicted because of such gross misinterpretations, and remember I'm not on trial here, this is not a court! If you took the trouble to read my words properly you'd have noticed that I said I would like to have HAD a wife and daughter IF I had been born in a fit state, and if my mum had only chose a far more healthy partner who was NOT a host to any wretched life destroying demons. Such a person is not fit to even marry never mind reproduce! And now because of him neither am I! No-one is to blame for what they're born with, but addicts do the damage themselves. And I don't have any addictions, for instance I can't stand any alcohol, or nicotine, or drugs, or filthy porn, they're all absolutely revolting, absolutely VILE! And as for gambling money won't solve anything for me so that would be a total waste of effort. So I think you need to slow down a bit and stop rushing through stuff far too quick which only leads to gross errors of judgement. And I've also got no personal grudges against other Christians or anyone else, I just wish they would try and be a bit more broad minded and stop concentrating on addicts but spread their nets a bit further, addictions are not the only serious life problems out there. And if you ever get to know me anything like properly then you will soon discover that I absolutely will not simply cave in and back down and accept accusations which I know to be wrong, far too many have tried that with me and I won't have it. Far too many have been bullied into accepting false accusations and ended up wrongly convicted when the real culprit(s) have got away scot free while some poor innocent victim ends up getting routinely brutalised in some dreadful prison somewhere. Remember there is such a thing called ambiguity which can cause misinterpretation if people don't concentrate on stuff properly, it's like when I've tried talking to someone verbally and they hear only about half of what I said and then jump to the totally wrong conclusion about the rest of it and then they barge in and stop me and get it all wrong and then won't be told all because of a dreadful superiority complex where they think they're so vastly "superior" and can't ever be wrong, and that they're always right etc. And none of this situation is a FAT-gloating joke as you seem to think, what's all that "lol" stuff?! I don't find any of it remotely hilarious and I've absolutely nothing to laugh about. And I've spoken to shrinks before and they only get it all wrong and completely misunderstand what I've told them, I know from copies of their documents they've written, they don't type down what I tell them but only what suits them, and that's what also happened at the stupid "assessment" for my PIP application, the so-called "professional" just sat there and made one appalling error after another and then produced a report full of gross contradictions, and of course the stupid dwp would only believe that and nothing else without knowing a single fact about me. And you've made too many spelling mistakes and errors of grammar too. And there is more but I can't just sit here typing all evening.
 
It is what you wrote I didn't have to judge anything, I just copied and pasted your letters into ChatGPT and said give me a 12 line bullet point summary including main statements made.
 
DailyCorvid said:
It is what you wrote I didn't have to judge anything, I just copied and pasted your letters into ChatGPT and said give me a 12 line bullet point summary including main statements made.
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I don't believe this, you're trusting a daft robot thing now, what does that know about me? and what good is it? I would never use such a thing, just pay attention to detail, just like we all should with the Bible instead of interpreting it as far too many try and do. And I'm not rejecting your earlier advice either so don't get the wrong ideas, it's just so hard to get started and then keep at it while so spiritually hindered. I had to put the record straight as too many misunderstand me, especially stupid useless robots like those on company phone lines that just repeat stuff back all wrong and chatGPT will be no better either. And shrinks are no help either. The only thing that makes me feel good is a friendly chat with a nice civilised woman like some I talked to in a hospital a year ago and some I've spoken to on the phone sometimes too who cheered me up well without even seeing them, but there seems to be no online Christian friendship outfits anywhere near me. And perhaps it's time I left this site as it's just too inactive. I wish there was one like I found several years ago but which closed down, but I'm not rushing into any decisions right now.
 
Desperate62 said:
I don't believe this, you're trusting a daft robot thing now, what does that know about me? and what good is it? I would never use such a thing, just pay attention to detail, just like we all should with the Bible instead of interpreting it as far too many try and do. And I'm not rejecting your earlier advice either so don't get the wrong ideas, it's just so hard to get started and then keep at it while so spiritually hindered. I had to put the record straight as too many misunderstand me, especially stupid useless robots like those on company phone lines that just repeat stuff back all wrong and chatGPT will be no better either. And shrinks are no help either. The only thing that makes me feel good is a friendly chat with a nice civilised woman like some I talked to in a hospital a year ago and some I've spoken to on the phone sometimes too who cheered me up well without even seeing them, but there seems to be no online Christian friendship outfits anywhere near me. And perhaps it's time I left this site as it's just too inactive. I wish there was one like I found several years ago but which closed down, but I'm not rushing into any decisions right now.
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It is not trusting a robot, ChatGPT is an analytical text reprisal and reporting software tool.
That is like saying "you trust this calculator?" well no but I trust mathematical processes to give me accurate numbers, and the summary ChatGPT gave me of your posts was accurate too.
 
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